Thursday, June 11, 2009

Meagan - We need a joke.... please!
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4 comments:

  1. PaalJune 11, 2009 at 8:56 AM

    Oldies, but goodies.

    #1

    A young man has always dreamed of owning a Harley Davidson. One day he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer. After picking out the perfect bike, the dealer asks if he would like some extra chrome protection added to the bill. The young man is upset because he does not have the extra money, and is now afraid that the chrome will rust as soon as it gets wet. The dealer tells him not to worry. There is an old biker trick that will keep the chrome like new. All he has to do is to keep a jar of Vaseline handy and put it on the chrome before it rains - and everything will be fine. The young man happily pays for the bike and leaves.

    A few months later, the young man meets a woman and falls in love. She asks him to come home and meet her parents over dinner. He readily agrees and the date is set. At the appointment time, he picks her up on his new Harley and they ride to her parents house. Before they go in, she tells him that they have a family tradition that whoever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes.

    After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break and get stuck doing the dishes. After a long fifteen minutes, the young man decides to speed things up, so he reaches over and kisses the woman in front of her family. And no one says a word.......

    Next he decides to take a more direct approach, so he throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of everyone. And no one says a word.......

    Now he is getting desperate, so he grabs her mother and throws her on the table. They have even wilder sex. And no one says a word........

    By now he is getting very worried and is thinking what to do next when he hears thunder in the distance. His first thought is to protect the chrome on his new Harley, so he reaches in his pocket and pulls out his jar of Vaseline.

    And the father says "I'll do the dishes!"


    #2

    A babe and a biker were messing around in a meadow. The biker falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the babe to go and get the farmer to help pull him to safety.

    The babe runs to the farmer but the farmer cannot be found. So she drives the farmer's BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. She then throws the other end of the rope to the biker, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking.

    A few days later they were in the meadow again and this time the babe fell into the mud hole. The babe yelled to the biker to go and get some help from the farmer.

    The biker said, "No, I think I can stand over the hole."

    So he stretched his legs over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my dick and pull yourself up."

    So the babe grabbed hold of the bikers dick and pulled herself to safety.

    The moral of the story:

    If you're hung like a biker,
    you don't need a BMW to pick up babes!

    ReplyDelete
  2. MeaganJune 11, 2009 at 9:00 AM

    Hi Ian:

    Here's your joke for the ride back home =)


    A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

    The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."

    The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.

    Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."

    The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."

    The Lord replied,


    "Do you want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

    ReplyDelete
  3. JacquieJune 11, 2009 at 11:00 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. JacquieJune 11, 2009 at 11:02 AM

    911, can I help you?

    Hello! Help! "Send someone over quickly!" the old woman screamed into the phone. "Three naked bikers are climbing up toward my bedroom window!"

    "This is the Fire Department, lady," the voice replied. "I'll have to transfer you to the Police Department."

    "No, it's YOU I want!" she yelled. "They need a longer ladder!"

    ReplyDelete

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